This is almost as bad as the large print ad in a Chicago newspaper, for Valentine’s Day, where a man had made the mistake of giving his girlfriend the wrong (too small? Too inexpensive? Wrong store?) ring.  She had on a boxing glove, and he was sporting a big black eye. 

Women want men who are more well-rounded these days…more able to emotionally connect, to express feelings, to create a deep bond – oh, but make sure you’re out there spending several months’ worth of your salary on a ring, or I’ll shame you in front of the whole world.

What are we saying to men?  Is it any wonder that they’re more and more reluctant to commit to relationships/marriage?  They have no idea what the rules are any longer! 

By the way, if you’re a woman who wants to change the way men are being portrayed in the media, please call The Jewelry Exchange: (978) 443-0550 and tell them you object to their commercial, and to the way men – and women – are being represented in it!

Never underestimate what can be done by just a few people who care.  The “Boys are Stupid - Throw Rocks at Them” t-shirts that were selling in upscale departments stores were taken off the shelves because a few mothers went to battle.

It’s good for all of us to make sure that men and women are shown to be respectful of each other.   Don’t you agree?

I say “Run – in the opposite direction!”

Most often, when we’re responding to that surge of hormonal response, we’re operating from a very old and deep recognition of the same “type” that gets us in trouble every single time; he’s not really going to offer to us the love, care, and commitment we want.  Instead, we’ll get angst, insecurity, disappointment, and ultimately, failure.  It’s a “no-win” situation.

Instead, choose from your blueprint (the qualities and vision you can trust are right for you).  Stick to it, no matter how strong a tug you feel toward one of “those” men.  You’ll be happier!

These same women are usually hoping to end up with a great man, if only they could stop encountering the men who keep letting them down, etc.

Moment of truth here: There are great men everywhere…absolutely everywhere.  We just have to have the right “filter” in order to see them.  If our filter is set on “Boy, there are a lot of creeps running around”, then guess what?  You see creeps (and attract them). 

My suggestion to you is this: work on changing your filter.  Make yourself listen for, see, and attract situations and stories about great men.  You’ll find that your filter will adjust itself, over time. 

What have you got to lose, except a bad attitude?  Let me know how it goes.

The seven-week teleclass, How to End Up With Your RIGHT Lifetime Mate, is having a powerful impact on women.  The class is recorded, so you don’t have to worry about missing a call – and the fee is only $149.  Check out the feedback from two women who were in the first group:

“Thank you for an outstanding 7 weeks! When I first read about this course I made up my mind right away that I had to do it, and that I would do it all the way. With your great coaching, and my total commitment to moving forward in this part of my life, I feel like I had at a breakthrough every step of the way. Seven breakthroughs in seven weeks is an awesome record! It was well worth the time and investment. I do believe that I am now in a much better place from which to meet, recognize, and CHOOSE the man
for me!” – Jane A., SF CA

“The class, through Karen’s guidance and the support of my peers in the group, has enabled me to become crystal clear on my relationship dream.  I can now see it, touch it and feel it.  And best of all, believe that I deserve it!” – Lisa G., Philadelphia PA

For more info, or to sign up, please go to:
www.theheartmatters.com/right_lifetime_mate.htm

Hmm… is that really true?  If you’re attracting less than great men into your life, it’s very likely that it’s got more to do with you than them.  Here are four reasons that may be true for you.

1.  You Get What You Expect

Finish this sentence:  Men are (fill in the blank.)   Just say or write everything that goes through your mind.  If things like ‘men are lazy and selfish’ or ‘men can’t be trusted’ or ‘men will cheat eventually’, etc.  are the types of thoughts you had, then a shift is needed.  If this is how you expect men to be, this is exactly what you’ll attract.

The good news?  You know how to manifesting what you expect!  Your job now is to change what you expect, so you can change what you get.

2.  Focusing on the Wrong Stuff

Do you and your friends complain about the different men you all know, whether you’re dating them or know them in other ways?  Do you send and receive male bashing jokes with friends and colleagues?  Do you watch TV shows that bash men and portray them as useless and stupid?  All of these activities focus your attention on what you don’t want in your ideal mate!  You may have already come across this bit of wisdom somewhere else in your life: you tend to get what you focus on.

3.  Not Clear About What You Want

Are you clear about your values, your life vision, and what you want from a mate?  If you haven’t taken the time to do the inner work to figure out what you truly want and need, you’ll find yourself settling for something else.

4.  Filling a Void

Regardless of the messages in all the romance novels and movies out there, a man cannot “complete you” or fill a void in you.  If you don’t feel whole, you’ll attract men who don’t feel whole.  It’s not always easy to tell with men; their lack of wholeness may not look like it does for you (for instance, you may come across as though you don’t need anything, and he may bend over backwards to make you happy…two sides of the same coin).

Write this sentence somewhere you can find again (and again); it’s so important to keep in mind:

We attract who we are, not who we want.

If you want to learn where you are in your life, really look at who you have attracted; your mirror is there.

My strong recommendation is that you accept what you see as the truth right now, and know that from that place you’ll be able to do something about it.  You can’t change what you’re not aware of.  Keep in mind the old, and very powerful, saying:  “the truth shall set you free.”

You may be thinking to yourself that tackling these four things are going to take you a lifetime to address.  Take heart.  Just take the first step: awareness; I always say that’s half the battle right there.  Then be gentle with yourself as you take your next steps toward changing your negative expectations about men, shifting the way you talk about them with others, getting clear on what you really want in a man, and feeling whole and complete just as you are.  You work on those areas, and I know you will have great men all around you in no time!

Way to go, Ford Motor Company!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I don’t know about you, but I am quite certain I’m not ever going to do business with a company causing this kind of damage to the way men are represented.

If you feel moved to do so, please let AT&T know how you feel.  The quickest way to show your displeasure is to switch to a different service provider (using the power of our purses, which is mighty!).  You can also contact them through their website: www.att.com.

We have so much power to affect change…and I urge you to take action wherever you see men being denigrated.  It will make a big difference!

By the way, if you want your great man to get extra acknowledgment (because of course you gave him one of the Men are Great cards, right?), let us know you’d like us to send him a letter (make sure to include his full address) when you submit your story about him.  Won’t he be delighted to hear from us, letting him know his great act was noticed and appreciated!

Send your stories to karen@menaregreat.com.

To get to the list of all the things you could do, please click on this link: Action Ideas
(The PDF file will open in a new window.)

Please add your ideas here, or share what you’ve experienced as a result of taking action.

Here are some from the “Men Are Great” book to get you started.  Longer descriptions are available in the book.

1.  Learn more about what men are dealing with.

Two great places to learn what men deal with, visit:
www.menstuff.org
www.glennsacks.com

2.  Change the lens in your glasses

From now on, when you observe something a man is doing/saying/being that you’re judging negatively, adjust the glasses through which you’re looking.  Choose the best possible perception you can have about what you’re seeing.  For example: if he’s working too much for your taste, choose to see that he wants to provide for you and feels that this is his contribution.

To take this even further, for greater benefit to you and to the men in your world, make sure you are expressing appreciation for anything and everything you can.

3.    Go public with your program

Never leave the house without a stack of “I Acknowledge Your Greatness” cards, which you can get at the Men are Great store (or make your own).  Hand them out to deserving men – whether you know them or not!

4.  Don’t spread the word.

Whenever you get a joke that slams men, delete it.  If you feel compelled to (and of course I’d suggest this), let the sender know you’re a member of the “Men are Great” club, and you don’t want to receive that type of material any longer.  Visit the Men Are Great Resources area for a suggested response you can use.

5.  Sisterhood

If you know of a woman who is perpetuating anti-male attitudes, or, even worse, being deceitful in any way in order to gain advantage over a man, share your feelings with her.

If she’s not willing to listen, think about ending your relationship with her, so that you can put your energies into relationships with women who are working toward healing and fostering good relationships with men.

6.  Let Your Purse Speak

When you come across any advertising that is conveying an anti-man message, don’t buy that product.  And, if you want to take this to the next level of pro-activity, write to the manufacturer and/or the ad agency and let them know why they are losing your business – until they decide to change their ad campaign, that is.  There is a template in the Resource section.

7.  Go On a Healthy Media “Diet”

Stop watching shows that gratuitously portray men in a negative light on a regular basis.  Not only does watching these shows keep them on the air, but it causes more like them to be created all the time.

8.  Become a Live Wire

Whenever you come across an ad or show that you feel is anti-male in its message, share it in the Hall of Shame.

Do the same with any ads or shows with positive depictions of men, so we can be sure to support them by spreading the word.   These go in the Hall of Fame.

9.  Hostess with the Mostest

Gather friends and soon-to-be-friends for a “Men are Great” club.  You’ll find many resources and ideas in the Hostess with the Mostest section of the site.

Try one of these out and share your experience here.  We also want to hear your ideas!

To see the list of books, which will be added to, visit: Books About Men or click on the link in the top navigation bar.